DL-232 -- A New Standard

            by  Dave  Lyons  (CompuCenter Iowa:  JoeApple;
                                    CompuServe 72177,3233)

       I may never understand how the designers of  the  RS-232  "standard"
    for  serial  communication  managed  to  use  25 wires where only 3 are
    really necessary.  Maybe they made a deal with the companies that  make
    cables, connectors, and switch boxes.  I just don't know.

       Well,  I thought of a few things that the RS-232 standard lacks, and
    since there are already so many extra signals, a few  more  can't  hurt
    anybody,  right?   Heck,  let's go for 50-pin connectors and cables and
    add  the  following  new  signals.   (Just  to  make  sure  this  isn't
    compatible with any old equipment, all OLD signals are moved up one pin
    number (Carrier Detect becomes 9 instead of 8, etc., and pin 25 goes to
    pin 1).

      Pin  Name      Description
      ---  ----      -----------
       26  XCAT      Should  be connected to chassis of devices.  Used
                     with the next two signals,  this provides protec-
                     tion against cats who haven't learned not to walk
                     on floppy disks or serial equipment.  This signal
                     should  supply  about  2000  volts (at a VERY low
                     current level;  wouldn't want to  HURT  the  cute
                     little  thing,  just  teach  it  not  to  walk on
                     anything in the computer room).

       27  CATGND    Cat  ground.  Used  with  pin  26.   This  signal
                     should  be  connected  to  another  part  of  the
                     chassis or the tabletop.

       28  CTD       Cat detect.

       29  SD        Self-destruct.  This signals causes the device to
                     destroy itself.

       30  SDACK     Self-destruct acknowledge.  Acknowledges that the
                     device has destroyed itself.

       31  VADIC     This signal indicates  to  a  computer  that  the
                     device  on  the  other  end  is a modem that uses
                     VADIC protocol.  (Note:  CompuCenter  Iowa  users
                     should  jumper  this  signal to SD and then buy a
                     decent modem.)

       32  STBIT1    Stutter bits.  With pin 33,  sets the  number  of
                     "stutter  bits"  (0  to 3 of them) to be included
                     before each byte  transmitted.  This  may  reduce
                     the  number of people who feel inferior to compu-
                     ter equipment by showing them that computers have
                     problems communicating with each other.

       33  STBIT2

       34  CABR      Cable ready.  It's not enough to  know  that  the
                     Data  Set is ready (DSR) and the Data Terminal is
                     read (DTR).  We also need to know that the  CABLE
                     connecting them is ready.

       35  GRR       Gremlins  ready.  Not  everybody  knows  it,  but
                     there are little green guys  inside  most  modern
                     computer equipment.  Most of the time they sleep,
                     but  other  times they cause trouble.  The next 6
                     signals are for dealing with gremlins.

       36  220A      Used with pin 37, supplies 220 volt power for the
                     gremlins' air  conditioning.  On  hot  days  when
       37  220V      gremlins  can't  sleep,  applying  power to these
                     pins may solve your problems.

       38  110H      110 volts,  hot side.  When the  220  volt  power
                     doesn't  help  and gremlin problems persist,  use
       39  110N      this with pin 39 to  supply  110  volts  for  the
                     gremlins' TV and video game center.

       40  MOON      Indicates  the  phase  of  the  moon.   Sometimes
                     solves mysterious problems.

       41  LHI       Pins 41 through 45 can be used to  implement  the
                     "like"  protocol when the normal RTS/CTS protocol
                     isn't enough.  This one means "Like  HI"  and  is
                     used to establish a connection.

       42  LHTY2     Like HI to You Too.  Acknowledges pin 41.

       43  LLTT      Like Listen To This.  Requests permission to send data

       44  LOK       Like OK. Grants permission to transmit data.

       45  LWOW      Like WOW.  Acknowledges receipt of data.

       46  HEY       Pins  46  to  50  may  be  used  to implement the
                     "Eighties"  protocol  when  RTS/CTS  and   "Like"
                     protocols  won't  do  the  job.  This  signal  is
                     similar to RTS (Request to Send).

       47  NP        No Problem.  Acknowledges HEY.

       48  HUH?      Signals that  data  was  not  received  correctly
                     (possibly wrong number of stutter bits).

       49  YEAH      Acknowledges data received.

       50  KMG365    Like YEAH, but for avid Emergency One fans.

     That  makes  50!  Let's  hear  your  suggestions  for MORE serial
     signals.  Maybe  we  can  get  100  and  REALLY  make  the  cable
     manufacturers happy.