INSULTS  is  a  program that can randomly generate more than 22 million
    insults.  Unless you are really into self-abuse you will probably  want
    to direct them at someone else.  To do this you simply follow 5 steps:

   1 - Sneak into someone else's office when no one is there
   2 - Load INSULTS into their PC and select menu item 1 - Execute INSULTS
   3 - Specify what DOS prompt your victim usually has (ex. A> or C> etc.)
   4 - Specify how many insults you want to subject him to
   5 - Get out of there without being seen

    His  PC  will  appear perfectly normal with nothing showing but the DOS
    prompt.  But as soon as he hits any key he will get a flood of  insults
    that would put Groucho to shame.  Because of the vast number of insults
    possible, you may be tempted to overdo it.  The  insults  you  generate
    will have the most impact when you choose a number between 1 and 23.