Andy Rooney and the PC Convertible

    Reprinted  in  whole  from  Andy  Rooney's  May  8,  1986,  nationally
    syndicated column.

    On April 3,  IBM announced that it was putting a small, new computer on 
    the market called a PC Convertible. "PC" stands for personal computer.

    The announcement I read said it would be "a $2,000 machine."

    All  of  you who had no intention of buying a personal computer  anyway 
    will  be pleased to learn that you couldn't buy this one if you  wanted
    to now and when you can,  it won't be for $2,000.  For $1,995 you don't 
    get much more than the box it comes in.

    I  still use my 1920 Underwood No.  5 to write on and a word  processor 
    for editing and transmitting so I went to the big IBM display center in 
    New York to look at the PC Convertible.

    They had one and it looked good.  The salesman showed it to me and gave 
    me some literature. The following day I called and said I wanted one.

    "You want a printer with it?" he asked. A word processor isn't any good 
    without  a  printer so I said I did.  "$295," he said.  "What  about  a 
    modem?"  A modem is computer language for a telephone gadget that  lets 
    you send text from one computer to another.  "Yes," I said, "that's why 
    I'm buying it.  To send my column." "Fine," he said.  "$450. What about 
    the  battery  charger?" "Does it have a battery?" I asked.  "Sure,"  he 
    said. "Built in." "Well then," I said, "I certainly need a charger."

    He  continued down the list and then asked how I wanted to pay for  it. 
    "Send me a bill," I said,  "and I'll send you a check.  When will I get
    it?" "Middle of May, probably," he said.

    When the bill came, it was for $3,113.95, which is a lot of money for a  
    $2,000 item.  I called the salesman and asked why everything was  extra 
    so he gave me an IBM consumer-questions number to call in Florida.    I 
    called and first asked when the PC Convertible would be available.  The 
    women transferred me to a man.  I asked him the same question. "They're 
    available right now," he said.  "They have them at our display center." 
    "I  know  they have one on display but when can I  actually  buy  one?"
    "Right now," this man said.

    I hung up and called the display center which,  of course, did not have 
    them  for sale.  Serious now,  I called the IBM headquarters in Armonk, 
    N.Y.  They  said  the man in charge of questions like that was  not  in 
    today.  All  these years I'd been thinking of IBM as this  paradigm  of 
    captialism  and  suddenly I felt I was dealing with a driver's  license 
    bureau.  I  finally  got  to a knowledgeable IBM  executive  named  Don 
    Kennedy. I asked when the PC Convertible would be available. "The dates 
    for availability will be scheduled in May," he told me.

    Hear that? He didn't say when it would be available. He didn't say when 
    they'd say it would be available.  All he said was the date it would be 
    available would be "scheduled in May."

    I concluded that IBM was waiting to see how many people ordered the  PC 
    Convertible  before they made them.  The original announcement in April 
    said they could make one every six minutes. One every six minutes would 
    be 80 a day, 400 a week, so they should have at least 1,600 made by now 
    without overtime.

    Today  I went back to my original salesman.  "I don't think you  people 
    know what you're doing," I said.  He smiled,  hoping I was kidding. "If 
    you know what you're doing," I continued,  "tell me when I can buy a PC 
    Convertible."  "They  should be available by the end of May," he  said. 
    "Four weeks. Five, maybe."

    "Five weeks isn't the end of May," I said. "That's way into June."  

    "Give me your number," he said. "Let me get back to you on this."